The other day, I was at my niece's house... A house where I drank all the alcohol. I never got drunk, but they had a lot of booze; and I drank and I drank and I muthafuckin' drank! Till like most of the booze was gone. In my mind I'm thinking: "Well, if they're so against drunks, they shouldn't have so much booze in the house, so I took the initiative and drank a lot of it... Not all, I mind you, but a lot of it... Still never got drunk or made an ass out of my self (other than drinking all their booze... But we'll get back to that soon...)
So, long story longer, after drinking more of their booze than I was supposed to, everyone freaked out... Rev drank all the booze! You bastard!!! I had warned before that if I didn't have my beer to nurse on, I'd drink all the booze in the house... People don't take me at my word.
So, making a short story, longer... I told my niece, my sister's supposed daughter (hard to see the resemblance) that I didn't even need to drink while I was there visiting her... That's what I told her. Apparently, she took this as I wasn't allowed to drink there at all anymore, and I was banned from drinking a beer on her property for all time! I was never told this... I was never told that I was banned from drinking a beer on her property, ever. That wasn't ever mentioned. I thought I promised I'd never drink any of their booze again and said that I didn't even need to drink when I was there... This, without my vote, became law... That "Rev is not allowed to drink alcohol at all when he visits us..." Of course, that's an unreasonable expectation... Of course I'm going to drink something eventually...
But how does this relate to my sister, you ask? Of course, she's had it in for me since we were little kids... She came over and was all like, "Rev! You want a beer? A shot? Some heroin? Crank? I got it all!!! Do it! Do it now!!! You've got no willpower... You know you want it... Forget about your pledge not to drink... I got your back, bro..." That;s what she said... I was all like OMG! I don't want any of that... Get away from me! OMG!!! But she just kept pressing and pressing until I couldn't hold out anymore, and I drank that beer, and I took that shot... Over the course of six weeks, but it's her fault, all her fault that Misty caught us sharing a moment of brother-sister love and we got busted. F'n Sherri. I blame this all on you. :) If you weren't such a loving caring and understanding sister who knows me probably better than anyone else, we wouldn't be in this debacle! OMG! I fuckin' love you!!!
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